“Am I creating my own chaos?”

This is something that came up in a recent journaling session. Though I’ve worked really hard at recovering from burn out I often find myself seeking the struggle. 

I used to sprint through the whole summer and then continue that pace for the rest of the year too. It took getting severely burned out to realize that it wasn’t possible to keep going like that. I’ve made decisions and changes that allow me to give my all to the peak seasons of my year (lobster & deep sea) and then work at a slower pace through the rest of the year.

I tried surfing for the first time! 🏄 And I loved it!

Sitting on the beach I went from totally relaxed to extremely stressed in what felt like seconds. 

My heart was racing, my head was spinning with all the things I would need to do, and I felt like I couldn’t sit still. I felt like I needed to just leave the beach right then and start taking action. I didn’t think I would be able to settle down so I would be better off just leaving and taking care of business.

The 2025 lobster season is over! 

It was a beautiful day when we got all the traps back to the wharf and I was happy to spend a few hours at the beach with Dave to relax and celebrate the end of another season. But that time for relaxing was pretty short-lived as the next day we got back to work cleaning up the boat and buildings to prepare for opening Joey’s for the season.

Perfectionism can really get the best of me. 

It’s a sneaky little thing that I don’t even notice most of the time but I think it’s there more often than I’d like to admit.

But I needed something a little more impactful. 

Something larger than myself. 

So I’m now keeping my eye out for opportunities to make an impact. 

This lobster season feels different.

Is it because I’m now 40? 😝 Who knows. But I definitely notice a shift in how I’m feeling and managing my energy for lobster fishing this year.